Let me just preface this by saying: At least a few or all of these have happened to me while practicing yoga. If you hear someone laughing to herself during shavasana it’s probably me.
1. People accidentally toot.
If you are the person directly in front of me, I will kill you. Yeah yeah, blame it on the mat. No for real though, it’s not a big deal. Nobody cares. Psyche!
2. The instructor speaks jiberish. Yabagaba-whaaa?
Okay, that’s enough of that, just tell me what you want me to do.
3. You hear skulls crack when people go from tripod and forward dive onto their forehead.
I know it’s really rude to laugh, but I laugh because I’ve totally been there too.
4. Are you breathing or having an orgasm?
To the person directly to the left of me, chill out over there, will you? Tryin’ concentrate on my own damn breathing.
5. When you bump into the person next to you like five times.
Either you want to hold my hand and want to go on a date after class (heyyyy), you’re subliminally telling me I need to move and get out of your way (sorry!), or I’m the only person that’s thinking about this. Probably the later.
I obviously haven’t mastered the art of yoga (nor am I mature enough to), although I still like to practice it because it makes me feel awesome — which is why all girls go. I fully admit that there are rarely times where I can just “let everything go” because I’m usually thinking of stupid shit like this or what I have to do after class, or work, or surfing, or how I have dishes waiting for me at home. Maybe you can relate? Welp, you and I better get back at it. Don’t worry, I won’t be offended if you move your mat away from mine, and you can totally make fun of me when I do all of these things.